Menton. Is it worth it?

When life gives you lemons, you’re probably staying in Menton. Due to the screw up I mentioned in the previous post, our latest hotel contract in Monaco was a little different. We had to swap the convenience of Beausoleil for three weeks in the lemon capital of the world. Hopefully what follows will be useful for anyone considering making Menton their base for an extended visit to the Cote d’Azur.

If you are planning a trip to the southeast of France, then chances are you’ve probably already read something about Menton. It's a tourist hot spot of which there’s already so much written about on the internet that I’m now considering if there is any point in adding to it. But I will, as it's looking like I'm unemployed for the next two months and I'm already bored.

I arrived into Menton by taxi around 10:30pm, after getting slightly tipsy on my own at Manchester airport. The tiredness had kicked in and the driver's story of how he had recently picked up Paul Pogba was not working in lifting my mood. All I wanted was food. And so after meeting our guitarist at the apartment we would share for the next three weeks, we decided to look for a pizza. Or maybe a kebab as it was now nearly 11pm. But then came the first negative of this place. Everything closes at 11pm. For somewhere so dependent on tourism, I couldn't believe it.

I guess that it's ok for most holidaymakers, as they tend to maybe visit just for the afternoon, buy a novelty souvenir in the shape of a lemon and then leave. If however you plan on returning to some sort of accommodation here after a day trip to St Tropez or Nice, you will be disappointed by the nightlife, or lack thereof.

There is a large casino with a nightclub that's open until 4am on Fridays and Saturdays, though we never visited. After a night working at the hotel, we were more up for a few drinks in a nice, local French bar, as opposed to downing Jagerbombs before vomiting in a soiled toilet. More than one local also told us that it was shite. The only other place open late (12am) is McDonalds. This is where the guitarist and I ended up on our first evening. At least they sell beer.

If by some misfortune you have read anything else on this site, you’ll know that I'm always complaining. But in this case the nightlife situation is probably the only real negative I can whinge about. Well that and the jellyfish. And mosquitoes. But I’ll get to that.

As we were finishing work late and returning to a ghost town at night, my experience was very much that of the tourist. I’d wake up late and often hungover before going out to spend the afternoon in Menton. For the first few days this was nice. Going for an omelette and coffee in the main square, wandering the streets of the old town, looking in the shops selling Limoncello, lemon honey, lemon towels, lemon fridge magnets, lemon ice cream and lemon bottle openers. There’s at least fifteen places selling Gelato, as well as a weird street performer with learning difficulties who sort of dances to Michael Jackson songs. That actually kind of ruined the typical but pleasant French town vibe.

If you want an ice cream or a shot glass with a lemon on it, Menton has got you covered.

Obviously, wandering the streets and taking in the sights gets old after a few days and so it was time for the beach. Most around here are the kind with those big stones which I find uncomfortable to walk on. The Sablettes beach towards the east of the town is however slightly better. There are many restaurants and cafes around here including a Planet Sushi. Free lockers and toilets which are surprisingly clean are another bonus. Plus the water is calmer as it's protected by the rocky harbour. The right hand side of the beach, as you look out to sea, has a nice gentle slope out to the deeper water. Probably great for kids but also for weak swimmers like me.

Plages des Sablettes. Or jellyfish beach, as it will be forever known to me.

I enjoyed Sablettes beach for the first week and a half. Sort of swimming whilst walking/ floating was pleasant until one afternoon, when I felt a sharp and sudden pain on my right shoulder. I instinctively bobbed to my left whilst looking down to see a brown, squishy ball thing which I guessed was a jellyfish. The pain and rapidly swelling skin confirmed I’d guessed correctly.

Not the exact jellyfish that was responsible. In fact not even the correct species. I just like this pic I took years ago.

Apparently, the thing to do when stung by one of these squibbly tossers is to rinse the area thoroughly and firmly with salt water to alleviate pain and remove any stingers still present. Instead, I chose to go to one of the 1000 chemists situated in every French town to buy two creams for €21. I used one of them once. €21 is a lot of decent cheap wine from the supermarkets here so I was pretty pissed off. The stinging subsided by late evening and a bottle of red with work helped a lot.

It's worth noting then that unlike beaches in Monaco and Nice, there are no jellyfish nets anywhere in Menton. Also there isn't really a jellyfish season as such. They just turn up when they feel like it. So, if you notice that hardly anyone else is swimming, there's probably a reason. I remember laughing at a guy wearing a full wetsuit right before it happened. Turns out he was a pro.

After the stinging incident, I didn’t feel much like swimming anymore. In fact, after having a few too many drunken nights at work, I didn’t leave the apartment much for the next week. Other than to get a pre work coffee and do some people watching. Or to stand in the absurdly long queue in the local Carrefour because only two people ever work the checkouts.

As the contract neared an end, the guitarist and I decided to make an effort to have a real wander around the place. As opposed to what the majority of visitors do which is just walk the main streets buying crap.

I decided on a few things I wanted to see, as the guitarist was just happy to be outside. We were to start by walking up the hill to the old church. It’s visible from the main promenade and looked interesting enough from half a mile away. Then I wanted to see what building the golden dome belonged to, which is also visible from a distance. Then we would have lunch before heading to the Botanical gardens to see what I expected to be wildly colourful and exotic plants. On the walk back along the coast, we’d stop off to check out the old castle looking thing.

The walk up to the Basilique Saint-Michel was nice enough. The small streets are adorned with flowers and plants that the residents had put up outside their homes. Looks like a nice, peaceful place to live so long as you don’t ever plan on going out in the evenings.

The streets of the old town.

On reaching the church, we were met with the unfortunate sight of construction work. And the fact that the church was closed. Still, we were high up enough for a nice view of the coast heading around to Italy as well as an aerial view of jellyfish bay.

Basilique Saint-Michel. Click above to see this photo on my Clickasnap account! It’s surprisingly popular considering the rather large lens flare.

Slightly disappointed, we continued up the hill to the dome. It turned out that it is part of the Cemetery of the Old Chateau. After a quick Google search, it appeared to be classed as a tourist attraction and so I soon didn't feel so bad about taking photos around the dead. One of which is apparently the inventor of the sport of Rugby, Webb Ellis.

Cemetery with a view.

The slightly uncomfortable feeling is totally worth it for the scenic views and again, like around the church, it's quiet up here. Maybe not so much in the height of the summer season, but in mid-September it seems people are not so adventurous. Or just don't like tiring walks up steep hills. Seriously though, why is it that most people who visit French locales always stay around the main old town, with all the typical small shops? They are of course pleasant but also pretty much the same all over the area. Why not have a look a little further afield?

I can think of worse places to end up.

After descending the hill, we went for lunch in a cheap looking sandwich place at the far end of Touristville. We ordered croque monsieurs but were told they had run out. They could however offer us a crap ham and cheese Panini which, after a beer, didn't seem completely awful.

Next on the list was the Val Rahmeh-Menton Botanical Garden. From my favourite beach, it’s about a 15 minute walk along the coast in the direction of Italy, before cutting back inland past a school and up a small hill. The area around here is peaceful with the sound of traffic being distant. But that’s about as positive as I’m going to get about the place. I won’t write much else as it probably deserves its own review but let’s just say I have never before received so many mosquito bites in such a short space of time. Considering the main attraction here is a small, non-flowing body of water, I perhaps should have seen it coming.  

The famous lily pads. I didn’t hang around though. Click the pic to see more info via my Clickasnap account!

It was an itchy 20 minute walk to the Bastion. An old fortification built in the 1600s, it is now better known not for its long history but for the fact that the French poet, playwright, novelist and designer, Jacques Cocteau was allowed to go full mental and decorate it with mosaics and the like. I would have liked to have checked out his works in more detail, but at this point, the bites were really playing up and I just wanted to get back to the apartment to get ready for work.

The Bastion.

Jacques Cocteau is well remembered around these parts. Probably because he liked Menton so much and a few of his works are scattered around the town. There’s a whole museum dedicated to him. Due to a bad flood last year however, it was still closed.

All in all it wasn’t a bad day out or even a particularly unpleasant three weeks in Menton. There are a couple of other reasons as to why you might want to make it your base for a holiday. The first being that it’s considerably cheaper for Airbnb accommodation and hotels in general, certainly in comparison to the surrounding area. Our large, well situated, two bedroom Airbnb was only €90 per night. Single room accommodation was of course cheaper but these were prices for September. August will always be more expensive all over the Cote D’Azur.

The train is also so cheap and easy to use that you can be in any of the main Cote D’Azur towns within an hour and a half at most. I personally think the French trains are utter toilets though. They’re full of graffiti, smell of sweat and you often have to walk through several carriages to find one with air conditioning.

A typical sight on one of these trains. At least they’re cheap even if you don’t get a seat.

The second reason to stay in Menton is that, after being struck down with severe tooth sensitivity in the first week, I had to find a dentist. It’s quite hard to find an emergency appointment in France but not only did I get one, it was with a dentist who sort of spoke English. Or at least his assistant did. A Dr Patrick Sebag. Not only did he fix my teeth, but it turned out he made custom fit night guards for teeth grinders for only €130! They’re nearer £300 in the UK on the NHS. And after checking with my dentist back home, it turns out they’re the real deal! So, yeah. This is a slightly weird, niche reason to choose Menton. Don’t know why I’m writing about it really. I was happy though. And no, this is not a paid advertisement.

There is one thing that slightly annoyed me about this place more than it probably should. It’s the whole lemon thing. According to a Google search, after the whole Adam and Eve story, Eve took a lemon from the Garden of Eden and, after stumbling on the beautiful area of what is now Menton, decided to plant it there. Lots of lemons grew and they were special and this story is no doubt a load of shite. But there is an actual reason why they grow so well here. It’s apparently because Menton has a microclimate that allows for lemons to grow all year around, as it’s slightly warmer than the surrounding towns. They are also apparently a brighter yellow than anywhere else.

The lemons that I saw certainly were a very bright yellow. Probably because they were all made out of plastic or soap. I didn’t see an actual lemon tree the whole time I was here. Even in the botanical garden, what I thought was a baby, unripened lemon was in fact a mandarin.

I actually did see some lemon trees. Only they were in pots in a shop and so don’t count.

So, in summary, is Menton worth a visit? I think it is. Although maybe you only need half a day there. Is it worth staying here for a week? Probably not. Unless you’re on a smaller budget or really like lemons and Monsieur Cocteau. Or badly need a night guard making and want to turn that unpleasant process into a holiday. In which case you’ll love it!

It’s looking like I’ll be back here in May next year, when the band I work with will be performing back in our usual hotel for the Monaco Grand Prix. Accommodation anywhere close to Monaco is just way too expensive during that period. But the thought of spending another three weeks in Menton isn’t a bad one and so, because of that, I suppose I do recommend the place. Just let me know where to find an actual lemon tree if you manage to spot one.

If you found this article helpful, and want to check out some more of my photos from Menton and other locations from around the world, click here to visit my Clickasnap profile! I get a (very) small cut of the ad revenue every time one of my pics gets viewed! If you happen to be a photography hobbyist, read my review here to learn more about the platform!